"I'm from a little town next to Ireland called England."

I woke up at 1:30. I had a slight slight hangover. A little water cleared that up.

Breakfast and then to April Gourmet to pick up dinner for later. I've had a craving for real cheese, so I got a baguette, some cheese and some salami and turkey for later.

Found Jonas around 4 and we went out to eat eventually. His foot is hurting but that's normal for a glass-induced incision on the bottom of one's foot.

We went to Aunt Characteristic Home Dish and had half a duck and a few other things. After we found ourselves in Yashow.

Jonas didn't want to buy anything so we just looked. Before we left I got a fan for 10元. Didn't even bother to negotiate. I know what a fan is worth. She wanted 50, I said 10. She said 30, I said Goodbye, she said 10.

We walked back to the hostel, checking along the way for the prices on a certain gag gift I'm looking for for Nathan - nothing too cheap but there's negotiating room. I'll go back for it later.

Found Cole in the hostel at 6. At seven we shared the meal I got at April Gourmet earlier today, which turned out to be just enough for both of us.

I sat down with several new people and a few old people. I knew Andy the Scot, Eddie from Hunan (I remembered his name!), and Jonas the Dane. I met Amy (22), from Manchester, and Janette (19), a Hungarian- born Norwegian going to school with Amy at St. Mary's in London.

We all went out around 10 to an Irish pub named Paddy O'Sheas, nearby on Dongzhimen Wai Da Jie (东直门外大街). We spent several hours drinking and bonding. I met and did an Irish Car Bomb with Tom, who works there. I asked if he was Irish and he told me "I'm from a little town next to Ireland called England."

At 1 we all moved to Sanlitun Village (except Janette and Amy, who chickened out), where we went to the bars 1F and Fish Nation, sitting outside for the latter, since tonight was so un-hot. Aside from Andy and Eddie and Jonas, we were joined by Mark, a 30-yr-old Australian of Chinese descent who's doing reporting work on Tokyo and Hong Kong markets from Beijing.

We spent a long time in Sanlitun, where we sat down with a few locals, Katie, working at an Austrian bank, and MaLin, working at Motorola IT department. Mark and Jonas and I (cuz Andy and Eddie had ditched) talked with the girls for a while before they went home..

While we were contemplating leaving, my name was said from the pathway everyone walks through between bars, and it was Paula, one of the three girls from Canada and teaching in Seoul, with a guy named Michael from France. We chatted for a while before they headed back to the hostel. While Paula and I chatted I mentioned having been to the Boryeong Mud Festival, and she had been there that same day! We might have fought each other in a mudpit for all I know! Small world, eh?

At 3:30, Mark went home. At 3:45, Jonas and I got a cab back to the hostel, where we parted ways after saying goodbye to Paula and Michael again (who were sitting outside of the hostel), and headed to bed.

I fell asleep circa 4:30.

Bottleneck Shank

Woke up around 11. My arm was throbbing. No work today. But the rash seems like it's going away and if I'm not ok by Monday I am going to be very surprised - and upset.

I relaxed. Had eggs for breakfast and watched a crappy movie the hostel put on - The Thief Lord. Then relaxed.

At 4 I met Mingwei and Ben (from the Japanese buffet) and Kelvin (from the other night at Smuggler's) at the Megabox Theatres in the Sanlitun mall. We watched the 4:35 showing of Knight and Day, which was chock full of crappy symbolism, poor plotlines, bad dialogue, mediocre acting, and a disappointing ending (I just wanted Tom Cruise to get punched in the face!). Despite this, though, I enjoyed the movie, sortof.

After the movie we walked down to the restaurant just past Aunt Characteristic Home Dish and ate there. The food was good, although the rice was just as terrible as last time.

After dinner the guys went home and I walked back to the hostel.

Took a brief nap at 8 (these itching pills I'm taking are so sleep- inducing!).

I played some foosball, and met some new people (since alex and Cole are my only long-termers remaining). There was Gucche the Frenchman (I don't know the correct spelling, but it's pronounced kind-of like that fancy fashion designer), Andy the fowl-mouthed Scot, a guy from Hunan province and Inner Mongolia province whose names I forget, and Jonas, the jetlagged Dane who flew in this morning and is spending 18 days here solely so he can get another tattoo on his arm from a guy he read about in the New York Times and who he had been a patron of two years ago (the guy charges 1000 yuan per hour!).

At 11:30, Gucche, another Frenchman, Hunan Province, Andy, Jonas and I went to Sanlitun Village. We lost the Frenchmen upon our arrival, but the surviving four of us went to Smuggler's, just to find it uncharacteristically packed to capacity. A few drinks there and then to the outdoor seating at Shooters, nearby, where I bumped into Lixuan and Veronica! They were headed to San Dian San (3.3), the only real nightclub on the Sanlitun Bar Street. I didn't join them but I finally got Lixuan's number, so we can hang out in the future.

A few drinks there, then back to Smuggler's, which had emptied out in the meantime, where we stayed for a few more drinks and the rest of the night.

At 2 or so we called it a night and started heading back. Andy and Hunan Province went straight back while Jonas and I stopped into one of the ripoff DVD stores that break the monotony of the bars here and there in the Village.

We found a bunch of good films and argued for 25 minutes with the guy who wanted to sell the DVDs for 8 each and DVD-9 for 12. I ended up with 6 for 50, 8.3333 each, with 3 of them being DVD-9. Pretty good, I'd say, considering this is a legitimate store (with legitimate referring to the way the business is run, not the legality of the product, of course).

As we left the store, Jonas screamed and ripped off his shoe. I look as he turns over the shoe to find the top of a bottleneck sticking out of it. We thought that was the end of it, but when Jonas went inside briefly back into the DVD store to ask for a bathroom, I saw he was bleeding all over the floor.

The shopkeeper found him a stool and had him sit. I grabbed a nearby roll of toilet paper that had been doubling as tissues and started cleaning the wound with that and a bottle of water.

I grabbed a piece of cloth nearby and fashioned a bandage around the cut along with the toilet paper. We limped Jonas out of the store to a cab.

I got the cab driver to drive us to the door of the hostel, even inside the courtyards it's in. Jonas went upstairs to use the bathroom and after we redressed the wound. Fortunately, there was someone up who had alcohol on him (for medical purposes, not drinking alcohol), which I used to clean out the wound.

I then made a proper bandage, with the addition of a band-aid and the cleansing alcohol. I sent Jonas to bed and told him to sleep with his right leg propped up on a backpack.

I didn't get into my room until 3 -- sleep by 4.

Shrugging off a Scam

Woke up at 11:15.

The swelling in my right arm had gone down a bit, and I can now straighten my arm, but I can't work. I have told my bosses, however, that any urgent work can be sent to my personal email and that I can get to those fairly quickly from the hostel. To be honest, I really don't like missing work, as I've come to enjoy the work I'm doing (even the tedious English-fixing gives me interesting insights into the things this firm does).

At noon I went downstairs to meet Maya at the bar, where she said she'd be last night. I didn't expect her to show up, because of how wasted she was when she told me when and where to be. But she had gotten up before me and was waiting.

We hung out and Cole joined us. At 1:30 we went to Yashow, and spent two hours haggling and bartering for presents, gifts, and trinkets. I bought a few things for great prices.

While we were wandering, a man came up to me and asks, "Do you speak English?" I responded "a little," in my most sarcastic voice and he started:

"I am from the countryside, looking for work in Beijing. I have been looking for months now and can't get a job. I have a very important job interview tomorrow and I need to be well fed or I will look desperate; could you lend me a little money for food and a cheap room for a few nights? I will pay you back after I get this job---"

First of all, if he's from the countryside there is no way his English would be that good. Second, if he's been looking for a job for months and can't find one, what makes him think he'll get it this time? Thirdly, how will this guy find me to pay me back, or even how do I know he'll pay me back? These questions, and the fact I'm not mentally ill, led me to believe this was a scam. I turned to Maya:

"Parle vous Francais?"

She responded in Hebrew: "Ma ze?" meaning "what?" Or something like that.. I forget my conversational Hebrew..

I switched to Hebrew, reciting all the old prayers I know. "Baruch atah Adonai, elohaynu melech haolum.." and then I turned back to the Chinese guy and said in attempted broken english: "I... don't... understand..." we got rid of him fairly quickly.

Later, a vendor was trying to sell me a chess set, one identical to one I got for my dad two years ago for 80元, but about half the size. I told him it was a third as big as the big one, so I'd pay 1/3 of 80. I didn't feel like haggling.

He started ranting at me, saying that I'm taller than Cole, does that make me more valuable?

He thought he had me cornered, but my Chinese is getting better each day. I told him: "Actually, Chinese people, every day, ask to take a picture with me, but not with him, because I'm taller, and they know that makes me better-" or something like that. He laughed and agreed with me, then dropped the price. I didn't want it at the new price either, but I used his price to bring down the same chess set at another store to my desired price. Only $4 or so. I then took my new little chess set back to my debate partner and tried to sell the set to him. It didn't work, but we had a good laugh.

We returned to the hostel and at 4, shortly after, we went back to the massage parlor for another foot massage.

I won't repeat what I said yesterday about the massage, but afterwards I felt like I had just paid a prostitute, because I can't believe something that feels as good as that foot massage could be legal.

5:15 Cole went to work and Maya and I got her a last meal in China. We went to Aunt Characteristic Home Dish, my favorite place nearby, and had Kung Pow Chicken, veggies and dumplings. There was far too much food and I had to take a bunch of the dumplings home.

When we got back, Maya had to go straight to the airport. We said our goodbyes, and she left for the airport.

If all goes as planned I should be seeing her again if I ever do Birthright, if she ever comes to the states, or hopefully sooner.. if our plan for the Shanghai Expo goes through..

I took siesta in the room until 8.

Went downstairs and relaxed some more, resting my arm. Every time I spend extended time outdoors, my arm has been swelling in a very Hulk-like manner (though red, not green), due to the poison ivy, so I've been staying indoors and near the AC as much as possible.

Alex came back eventually and brought her dad, who's visiting from business in Shanghai. We talked until Alex had to go get her things since she's spending the next few day at his hotel room; always nice to ditch hostel life here and there.

I met a British guy in my relaxation, named Paul, who's on his gap year between high school and University, where he'll be going at Sheffield soon. His hair and mustache combo, and his glasses, reminded me vaguely of a more modern Ringo Starr/John Lennon combination, which was interesting, to say the least. We chatted for several hours, until they closed the restaurant at 2. He's a smart kid.

I went to sleep at 2:30.

Breast-feeding Through My Toes

I awoke at 11:15. My bosses told me yesterday that I should take off till my arm was feeling better (and since yesterday I had to hover my arms above the desk for six hours, I think need the day off). Some things just aren't feasible with poison ivy covering the entirety of both your forearms.

Went downstairs and said goodbye to Kuldeep, who left at noon for home.

When Maya came down we played a little foosball, but the morning and early afternoon was really about relaxation.

At 3:15 Maya and I went to the massage parlor next to the hostel. For 38 yuan we got a 10-minute backrub and neckrub and a 50-minute foot massage.

We were led into a small room with two lounge chairs. Just after we had settled into our chairs, two people brought two buckets of warm milk. We put our feet inside. It was sensational, in the kind of "it-feels-like-I'm-breast-feeding-through-my-toes" way.

After our back massage we took our feet out of the soaking milk and the massage began.

50 minutes of heavenly foot massaging later, standing up was like walked on clouds. The cost -- about $5.50.

We floated the 50 feet back to our hostel and sat down. In a moment of indulgent pleasure, I felt it was time to treat myself to a cigar.

At 5:15 I took a nap, because the day so far had been exhausting...

6:45 I left room 206 and went back to the first floor.

At 7:15 Maya and I left for dinner. We walked for a while down a street nearby we hadn't yet explored, but found nothing but the Golden Pineapple Youth Hostel, which was a tad cheaper than Sanlitun (5元/ night cheaper) but more like a hotel and depressing because of it.

We walked back down 春秀路 and turned right on 工人体育场北路, and walked past Aunt Characteristic Home Dish, our favorite duck place. We sat down at the next place and talked for a while over mediocre food. Maya leaves tomorrow; but that just means I'll have to go on Birthright or something to see her again in Israel. I think I can live with that prospect - a free trip to Israel is a good deal, I think.

At 9 we were back in the hostel, and I took a quick siesta/shower break.

At 10, Alex, Cole, Maya and I snuck out of the hostel (to avoid a certain somebody that just didn't sit right with us - no disrespect intended) and went to Propaganda. Wednesday, after-all, is all-you-can-drink night at Propaganda.

We went the first direction by subway, making the commute an hour long and very hot. We arrived at the club at 11 and paid our 50元 entry fee (30 for girls).

Spent about an hour and a half on the first floor, getting free drinks and downing them as fast as we got them. Long Island Ice Teas, Red Bull and Vodka, Whiskey and Coke, White Russian - who can remember what else?

Cole and I went out at one point to buy some Chuaer (pronounced ch- waar) - meat on a stick cooked on a sideways I-beam with hot coals inside - and came back via the back entrance to get hookah and chill.

We were invited to sit with two Chinese guys. There was Will, a Journalism major from Shandong Province, and David, an English major from Hebei Province - both studying in Beijing. We talked for a while, and got a hookah.

At 2 the club closed down the top level and we had to go downstairs a flight, to the pool room. We tried to bring the hookah, but Cole held it by its neck and it shattered all over the ground and him. Glass, water, burning coal, and little puffs of smoke were everywhere around us.

Eventually we found ourselves on the dance floor with Maya and Alex, but Cole and I called it quits around 3:30.

We got a cab back, leaving Maya and Alex, who wanted to stick around a little while longer, and split the 50元 fare when we arrived.

I fell asleep around 4:30am.

Kuldeep and Richardson Leaving

Up at 6:55, slept intermittently until 9:15. Got up and showered, put on my steroid cream that Dr. Shepard gave me yesterday, wrapped my right arm (the evil looking one) with the ace bandage I had until today been using for my foot, and got dressed for work. This day promised to be miserable.

My cab driver took a wrong turn, or at least missed the convenient turn, which sparked a 20-minute argument about which way to go. He was under the impression I just wanted to go to the subway stop GuoMao, not to a building next to it-- I told him where I wanted to go and he managed to find his way to the back of my building, almost as close to the door as one can get at from the other side. Good enough, I guess.

Work. Left at 4 at the insistence of my co-workers because my arm hurt like crazy and it was seriously impeding my work ability. Besides, my arm felt and looked like I'd been practicing Kung Fu with the Human Torch.

Had a failed attempt to meet up with Michael and Mingwei; when I finally caught up with them via phone they were well on their way to Mingwei's house to go swimming. I would join but I don't think my poison ivy'd arm, which looks like I fought a cheese grater, would go over well with that.

Hung out in the hostel until 6:45 when Maya, Cole and I went to get dinner at the Kro's Nest, as today is Tuesday and on Tuesday's the Kro's Nest has free beer for however long a keg of Tsingdao Beer lasts.

Since we showed up at 7, an hour after free beer started, we picked up only 3 free pints each - poor us. While we were just drinking, I pulled out a deck of cards to play with but, like at so many places before, Kro's Nest doesn't allow "poker," even though we were playing a friendly, non-gambling game. Gambling is very illegal in China, and I guess it's easier to say "no cards" than to differentiate between gambling and not. Instead of cards, then, we were given three penguin outlines, one per person, and a box of crayons to color him in. We enthusiastically took part in the children's diversion, despite a combined age of 69 years old. Besides, it wasn't much of a child-oriented distraction -- the penguin in the picture was holding a tray with a bottle and a can of beer, and was smoking a cigarette. China.

We got a half BBQ Chicken and half Meat Lovers pizza, and enjoyed our free beer.

After, we spent a little while in the hostel before Cole, Mia and I left to meet Mingwei and Michael at Smuggler's.

We arrived and Michael had brought his 17-yr-old brother, Eric (who's FAR cooler than Michael is), and Mingwei had brought Kelvin, the Kelmeister, the Kelvinator, or Kel (a friend of Mings'). The seven of us spent a good two plus hours drinking our fill of cheap beer and fun conversation.

A little after midnight we all departed and went our separate ways. Michael leaves tomorrow, but if I succeed in going to the Expo in Shanghai the weekend of August 6th I'll meet him there. If not, I'll be living with him this year at School, so I'm not exactly distraught over the parting.

Cole and Maya and I took a very amusing taxi home, where the cab driver, amongst other things, told us he was from Beijing USA, not China. He did teach me to say U-Turn, though - Diao(4) Tou(2).

Spent the next two hours with Kuldeep and Alex at the hostel. It was Kuldeep's last night here tonight. We played pool and foosball - I beat him in our last game. It was a win for the ages -- or at least until we somehow find ourselves together and at a foosball table again...

At 2 I bumped into Paula, who was taking care of Laura who'd gotten too drunk and had woken up BaoBao - the cute tiny puntable dog the hostel has whom I play with almost every day - to play with him against his will. Paula and I chatted for a bit but I was tired and my arm was hurting, so I went upstairs.

Around 2:05 I slept.

Hospital Bills

Woke up before the first alarm at 7:15.

A few days ago, a rash appeared on either forearm and in the crease of my left elbow. It went away or is going away on my left arm in both places. But my right arm is getting more and more swollen, to the point where it's painful to do anything but keep my arm still. I narrowed down what it could be and realized it is just really bad poison ivy.. though I don't know where I would have gotten it from - I haven't been in the woods in a long time...

I shot an email off to Emma and Ian, saying I didn't think I'd make it in today - it was too painful to work.

Tried April Gourmet, the western store next to the hostel, but couldn't find any medicine that'd help me. So I called Mingwei and he directed me to a western hospital at 11.

I got out of the cab and walked inside. I was directed to the emergency room and I sat while nurses questioned my health and poked and prodded me with blood pressure cuffs, thermometers and pulse measures. I was directed into a triage room where I waited for a doctor.

A few minutes after I sat down a western doctor came in, Dr. Shepard. We spoke for a few minutes and he gave me a topical steroid cream to put on and called it a day.

I filled out some forms, paid the desk and got my medicine and returned to the hostel at 1.

I took a nap at the hostel, but I was so tired I slept from 1 to almost 6, intermittently awoken by cleaning slaff who, quite annoyingly, changed the towels, and then the toilet paper, then delivered my laundry, then placed a plant on my counter, which made no sense.

I talked with my favorite waitress in the hostel for a while, whom I have informally dubbed OhMyGod, because she likes to say that to me whenever I walk in.

Mings picked me up with his driver.

We drove to Richardson's place, the China World Apartments, near my work, and Dixon and I chilled while Mingwei picked up a friend.

Took a taxi to dinner, which was Japanese buffet. The food was endless, and delicious, and expensive. We sat at a habachi table and just ate and ate and ate. Sushi, shrimp, sake, port, anything we wanted. Shark fin was one of the cooler parts of the night. I made a bet with Richardson about if our habachi chef spoke English, gave him 6-1 odds, and won 3 yuan.

Food, food, food, and then I took a took took home. She wanted 20 kuai but I told her we were so close to my hostel I might as well cab it for 10 kuai. She dropped to twelve and then to ten, begrudgingly. I hopped in back and as we moved I told her the exact place I wanted her to drop me off. When she brought me there she told me that she didn't know that was where it was and that it was worth 15 kuai, but she'd take 12. I held out ten and said "do you want it or not?" She took the 10 and I walked away.

I was with Kuldeep and Alex until midnight, when I went upstairs and nursed my poisoned wounds and slept at 12:10.

Touristyism

When I woke up at noon, like we all agreed last night pre-sleep, and made it downstairs by 12:30, I was of course the only one to have succeeded in being on time.

By 1:15 we had all gathered downstairs (Kuldeep, Alex, Maya and I), and were just waiting for Mingwei..

Mingwei has been making fun of me for the past few weeks because I'm staying in a hostel. He sees no need for them, and insisted that I should get an apartment or stay in a hotel instead. This was the first time he was going to be in my hostel, and it was funny how he just ignored the fact that Sanlitun Youth Hostel is a really nice place that is far fancier than he could have imagined.

When Mingwei arrived and we went to Silk Market to buy some souvineers. I love arguing, of course, and when we showed up we jumped right into it.

Without going into too much detail, we ended up buying fans that began being priced at 580 for 10 each, Buddha figures starting at 360 ended up as three for 10, a cool toothpick dispenser starting at 85 for 10, sets of 10 chopsticks starting at 150 for 10, and shirts starting at 150 for 20.

We went next to Wangfujing - where we had a wonderful selection of eating scorpions, tarantula, starfish, sea horses, or bugs on sticks. All delicious.

Back on subway to Dongsishitiao, got dinner at Aunt Characteristics Home Dish restaurant, the cheap duck place near the hostel. At 7 Mingwei and I left the hostel to get Richardson from the subway station. We got a cab and as we drove past the station I saw Michael, our friend from school and my future suitemate, sitting outside, so we yelled to him and he caught up and joined us in the cab. We made a loop back to the hostel.

Spent a little time in hostel, then Chris (from last night), Maya, Cole, Richardson and I walked down to Sanlitun Village.

Went first to Fish Nation to get Richardson some food, then to Smuggler's. Played Kings, Pyramids, had fun. Afterwards, Mingwei and Richardson went back to drop Richardson off and the rest of us walked back. Cole, Maya, and Chris went to a club or something and I continued alone to the hostel.

While I had planned to go to bed, I ended up talking for a while with Jessie and Ben, then with Amy, Paula and Laura, two Canadians and an American who are visiting for 8 days from Seoul where they, like Russ, teach English. We chatted from about 11:30 to 1:30, when all them went out to a club. Ben and Jessie leave tomorrow so I'll not see them but the girls are staying for a little while so perhaps I'll see them later. I just don't know. Nothing in this hostel is planned out.

I went to bed about 1:45, after I set my 8 alarms...