The Bluth Company Staircar

My bike is like the Bluth Company Staircar in Arrested Development. No sooner do I have it up to cruising speed do I have to brake for the light in half a mile. If I've been accelerating more than five seconds, the accelerator locks at that speed, and I have to reach down, turn the bike off, brake, turn the bike back on, and continue my ride. When the bike doesn't start up right away, I have to pedal the infernal device, while the left pedal shakes intollerably.

While the battery was fully charged when I bought it, the two hours I drove it home drained the batteries, and it takes a while to recharge. What it needs to be in full working order is a few full days of charging without use. I'll give it that when I go to Korea this weekend.

Since it was low on batteries this morning, I had to conserve energy on my ride to work, turning the bike off to cruise, pedaling some of the way, and not accelerating to full speed. The result? I ran out of batteries as I rolled accross Jianguomen Wai Da Jie, one of the biggest roads in Beijing and the street my work is on. To top it all off, the shaky left pedal shook loose and clattered to the road. I picked up the pedal and meandered my last few feet to the office building... looking forward, of course, to the ride back.

Parked my Staircar on a sidewalk, locked it with the bike lock I swiped from the hostel (borrowed with intention to return in 5 weeks), and got to work at 10:04. No one was in the office yet.

I kept busy until 5:15, and left at 6 sharp.

Picked up my staircar, started her up. She found a little more juice while I was working, and she got me as far as the turn off Jianguomen Wai Da Jie before she petered out again. I began to move under my own steam, on a battery-dead bike with one working pedal.

I lowered the seat so I could scoot the bike with each foot. I lifted up the right pedal and pushed down, only to lift it again and repeat the process. I kicked off curbs and sidewalk posts. Every once in a while I turned the bike back on and picked up about a block's worth of electricity as I trudged through the 90 degree humid weather. I could feel my button-down work shirt begin to get damp, though I am not sure how much was sweat from heat or sweat from pushing a hundred pound bike for 3.5 km.

I passed a sign on the street, giving the distance to the Worker's Stadium, which my hostel is about a quarter kilometer past. 1.2 km.

Just after I gave up hope a bike came by dragging a cart. I reached out and grabbed it with one hand and dragged myself behind it for a while. He turned off my route right before the Stadium, but I used the momentum to fling myself to it.

There was a military demonstration, or show of force, or something, at the stadium, so I couldn't take my normal shortcut. I dragged myself down to Gongti Bei Lu, where my pedal fell off, again. I laid it on the platform between my feet and pushed onward.

Picked up the last energy on the bike as soon as I rolled through the gates of the hostel. I caught up with Alex as I rolled through the courtyards to the front entrance, who couldn't help but laugh at my dejectedness.

Plugged the bike in. I'm giving it a few days to charge before I take it out again. Once it's full it should last a full work week with nightly charges. Unfortunately, that means a cab tomorrow, but then the bike charges till Tuesday, when I'll be going to work from the hostel next (Monday I'll be going right from the airport).

Arrived at the hostel and managed to get into the shower by 7. The hour-long ordeal seemed to have taken far longer...

At 7:30 I took a short nap. Went downstairs an hour later and Alex and Hap and Kuldeep and I had dinner. After we walked down to MegaBox (where I saw Karate Kid) to see Toy Story 3 at 10:25. When we got there we were told: "电影没有英文." or something like that. They had no English version playing tonight. Tomorrow they do though.

We walked to Sanlitun village and went inside a DVD ripoff store. I bought a few discs; Sherlock Holmes, Defiance, Moon, UP, and Star Trek (2009). For $1-$1.50 each, how could I not? I tried to buy Toy Story 3 as well but the salesman warned me it wasn't great quality - real truth in advertising right there - so I held off for the theatres, either tomorrow or after the weekend.

On the way back to the hostel via the back entrance, we found a store that specializes in western brand items. They weren't too much more expensive than Chinese products, either. I finally replenished my shampoo and toothpaste, which I was running low on, and it took all the energy I had not to jump at the Toblerone, Nutella, Kinder, or any other incredible desert not sold in China customarily.

The hostel doesn't let pool be played on their table past midnight. We got to the table at 11:55, and the sticks were gone. I went to talk to an employee, who I pleaded with, insisting we had two minutes to play (by that time it was 11:58). She responded in semi-annoyed Chinese that we have exactly 2 minutes to play and that if we take 3 minutes she'll take the sticks away from us.

We took longer than two minutes, but the game of 3-way speed pool was entertaining regardless. When we finished I profusely thanked our generous hosts and played Hap and Kuldeep in foosball instead. Hap is incredible at that game, and I get slaughtered every time I play him, but it's worth it.

At 1 I went upstairs and slept.